tinystarkitten

So yeah, a few things have been happening that are worthy of note.

Last Friday, I got my TAG application sent in to UCSC. If it's accepted, that means I'm guaranteed admission into the school, and I'll be transferring in as a Junior next fall. What's also awesome is that I'll know by the middle of November, so I don't have to spend the next five months freaking out about getting accepted xD

I also started taking a zoloft generic for my anxiety and depression. I've had a lot of hang ups about taking medication for a long time, because I used to have some pretty nasty misconceptions associated with it (and mental illness in general). But dealing with this has just gotten to be too much, and even though I've had ups, I'm on a whole in worse shape than I was even at this time last year. In general, I'm more socially anxious than ever, and I still have panic attacks pretty much weekly that have recently been getting more intense and, unfortunately, happening while I'm driving which gets really dangerous sometimes... So I'm pretty sure taking this medication is going to be really beneficial to me. It's an SSRI, which means it's a Seratonin Reuptake Inhibitor, and I was so excited that I knew exactly what that meant when the psychiatrist said that xD (We had just finished the chapter on brain chemistry in psych 101). So I know and understand exactly what the drug is doing, which is a huge relief on me.

I've already started feeling some placebo effects from the two half-doses I've taken so far, but I think that's helped by the fact that I got sick last weekend and spent most of the time relaxing, so my anxiety levels were pretty low this week to start with.

In artsy news, I've been doodling a lot, but drawing very little. That's been because of that last piece I put up, which has been taking my artistic focus this summer, but now that it's finished I feel free to start on other drawings that I've been wanting to make!

I also hope to have Michiru's school outfit finished by Halloween so I can wear it to school (minus the wig, but I only have one class that day so who cares). All I have to do is make skirt, but the shirt could probably use a wash. I've been wearing the upper half for a while for the purposes of running this blog: ask-michiru-kaioh.tumblr.com/ , and I feel like I really ought to complete it finally

Anyway, that's it for now!

School's started again, and I've embarked on my new Psychology major. I'm taking two psych classes and a statistics class this semester, all going toward my major. I'm still on track to get everything done in the same amount of time, which is awesome, and I'll be applying to UCSC as soon as I can.

I still feel really stressed about it though, mostly because of how spectacularly I failed astrophysics and last semester in general, and I've been withdrawing, snapping, and feeling more anxious than ever in anticipation. I haven't been talking to people much because of this, and it's making me feel as if they feel that I'm pushing them away. Which I'm not. I'm just having a hard time right now.

And in general I've just been feeling really insignificant. My dad's been having a pretty rough time since my aunt and uncle died, and my problems are nothing compared to his. I haven't been able to even get a volunteer job, let alone a real one. I feel like I get ignored a lot online because I'm really nothing special on the inside or have any interesting or special ideas, but people pay attention to me in real life because I look cute and interesting and friendly and put-together.

I don't know, I'm sorry for the rant, I just worry a lot and my therapist is out of town rn

Was tagged by so go blame her! xD

Rule 1:

Rules:
1. You must post these rules.
2. Each person must post 11 Facts about themselves in their journal.
3. Then Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post, and create eleven new questions for the people you tag to answer.
4. You have to choose 11 people to tag and post their icons on your journal.
5. Go to their page and tell them you have tagged him/her.
6. No tag backs.
7. No stuff in the tagging section about "you are tagged if you are reading this." You legitimately (AKA, really, truly, with all honesty) have to tag 11 some people.

Rule 2:

1. I am going to be starting a new major in Psychology starting this fall.
2. I have a habit of over-identifying with certain characters from fandoms.
3. I just got a filling today -_-
4. I have generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder, but I'm working on dealing with it.
5. I tend to stare at people in artistic admiration and it probably makes me come across as creepy :c
6. I pretty much always drive the speed limit :I
7. I'm a very visual person. I may not remember a name or a conversation, but I will never forget a face I've met or a place I've been to.
8. I've only recently gotten over myself and my own opinions enough to truly respect those of others.
9. Sometimes, though, I still can't tell if I understand everything or nothing.
10. I haven't had a job in over a year and I feel like a huge loser because of it.
11. Six months on tumblr turned me into a more hardcore liberal than three years of college did xD
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Questions from

1. If you had to spend the day trapped in an elevator with two characters from ANY fandom, who would they be and why?
The Dolorosa and Toph Beifong. The Dolorosa to help keep me calm while I inevitably have a panic attack, and Toph to metalbend us the hell out of there xD
2. What is your Zodiac sign? (Eastern and Western)
I'm a METAL HORSE by Eastern zodiac, and a Sun Taurus (with a Rising Leo and Moon Saggitarius) by Western. This translates mostly to me being sturdy, strong, and dependable on the outside, while being a complete fucking spaz on the inside xD
3. Favorite genre of music?
Fffffffff- Pretty much any elctro.
4. If you had to live in any past time period, which period would it be and why?
OH MY GOD GETTING THAT FILLING TODAY MADE ME REMEMBER HOW FUCKING GLAD I AM TO LIVE IN AN ERA WITH ANESTHESIA. That said, I'd have to go with the Roaring Twenties \(0u0)/  
5. Favorite type of candy?
Strawberry flavor Sour Punch Straws
6. If you had to die your hair one color, what would it be?
I regularly dye it dark red.
7. Favorite color?
Royal Blue
8. Favorite act in a circus?? (even if you've never been to one.)
(you're mean Dx) YEAH I'VE NEVER BEEN TO CIRCUS but I'd probably get a kick out of seeing some cage of death motorsports
9. Favorite sideshow/"freakshow" act (again, even if you've never been to one)
I don't know, Miku with the goatlegs.
10. What instrument would you love to learn how to play?
VIOLIN! Not only would it complete my Michiru cosplay, but there are so many beautiful songs I want to learn on the violin.
11. WILL YOU MARRY ME?
ALAS, I AM ALREADY TAKEN!
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Questions from me to you!

1. How STRONG are you?
2. Do you have any pets? What are they and what are their names?
3. Do you like animes? :333
4. Have you ever cosplayed? If so, as what?
5. What is your favorite citrus fruit?
6. What would you do if you were the main character in the movie/TV show/game/comic/book you last watched/played/read?
7. Do you care that Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise got divorced?
8. Can you do the splits?
9. If you could travel to the past and tell one famous dead person about their impact on the future of the world, who would you tell and what would you tell them? (Think the episode of Doctor Who with Van Gough. Also, "no one because that would create a paradox" is not an acceptable answer)
10. Where was the last place you went to on vacation?
11. Why is the sky blue? (You will be graded on this one. )
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I tag: